Triumph or tragedy you decide ....
It’s been awhile since I’ve updated…life has been moving a little faster, with the holidays and being back at work...it’s hard to get everything done and keep up with every little thing. But even with that I’m grateful for the holidays, my favorite time of year with Thanksgiving and Christmas. Even if they look a lot different this year. The purpose for celebrating is still there…even if we can’t all be together..which is hard…but we still can celebrate… celebrate our gratefulness, our hope for eternity, the gift of salvation that came from the birth of a child in a lowly, humble place. The child that brought so many from different walks of life together.
So I am grateful for the holidays and I’m also grateful for a job with a wonderful company and family and work team that has shown me grace and allowing me to prioritize Rory and family while still contributing to work.
So much of this journey we are on has been reminding me the importance and power of perspective…in all things…
I was reminded about this quote from a book I read as my sister mentioned how powerful it was for her... from the book Power of the Powerless -“Children like...(Rory) … exist as is. We decide if they are to be our tragedies or if they are to be our triumphs.” I’m guilty sometimes of looking at Rory and thinking how tragic it is she won’t meet the same potential or have the same opportunities as our son Jedidiah who just seems to be excelling right now mentally (2 going on 20). But then I remember what a triumph she is...her story and situation, though different and sometimes hard, is such a gift and brings so much joy and is a story of a little girl that continues to fight SO hard. A story of beauty and grace and life. A story of mystery and unknowns like our God... the author of the mysterious who holds all the answers we seek. I want to choose the positive perspective more, for her, and be strong for her…like her. The life and faith lessons this little angel has and will continue to teach us are uncountable.
This year for so many has been filled with tragedies, which we do need to properly grieve, but we must find our way to celebrate the triumphs. The beauty, the mystery…
Perspective matters... and it’s an ongoing continual choice ... I sure fail at choosing it often, Andrew often has to break me out of my slump/downward spiral and remind me to choose it… but I hear the more we choose it...the more it becomes a habit...habits are hard to build but once you do build them they can also be hard to break! (Believe me, I’ve got plenty of bad habits that need breaking too!) I want to build a habit of positive perspective, of courage when I’m weak, strength and endurance when I’m tired, singing when I feel like grumbling, grace when I’m frustrated, and joy when I’m sad. I want to always choose triumph over tragedy.
For Christ is king and is on the throne ....so the triumph is already here...we just need to live into it (Easier said than done….but the inspiration I need, thanks sis for the reminder).
Now from the inspiration to the updates and prayers….
Our little girl is finally on the chart for something...can you guess??? Not height...not head size…but weight. This lil chunk is now 2nd percentile in weight! She’s even got a few baby leg rolls now …11 1/2 pounds to be exact! (We made the percentiles.. ;)
We are very grateful for her weight gain! Though I am not a fan of the ng tube and tape on her face…the annoyance it brings and how it makes her skin so raw….but its worth it because it’s helping her get what she needs to grow.
Aside from growing great Rory has also been having some episodes where she gets extremely fussy and tightens her body. We are hopefully getting an EEG in the next little while to determine if it’s seizures or just neuro irritability . Praying it’s not seizures and that it’s something we can solve for and help find a way to control for her to have less discomfort and pain and more peace. Because of her neurological situation she is very sensitive and prone to be easily startled/overstimulated...but these spams seem to have increased and come from nowhere sometimes (or so it seems). So trying to dig in to make sure we know what’s going on.
We pray she continues to thrive...and for wisdom as we try to discern her needs and what is going on medically (as she, like all babies, can’t tell us what’s really going on) as well as what is best for her comfort, development and ability to thrive both short and long term.
We still feel like we have so much to figure out for the future, but are trying to make the most of today, and be grateful for the blessing of family and so many of our needs being met and provided for in such a trying year for so many.
I heard this quote and not sure where it came from exactly but love the truth it speaks in light of this year for us and so many… “We can only appreciate the miracle and awe of a sunrise, if we have first waited in the darkness.” A sunrise puts our troubles into perspective. No matter how dark life may seem now….may we cling to hope, the hope that a sunrise (and THE sunrise) is waiting on us in the horizon. The hope that a new day may come.
